Peace Day Talking Heads
by TimelessLoves
Summary: Talking heads that the documentary crew might have filmed, if Michael had ordered a Peace Day observance. Season Four


In honor of today being National Peace Day. I own nothing except a mind that has watched way to many Office episodes...

**Michael  
**Tomorrow is National Peace Day, and I am ordering an all day observance, plus there will be a party after lunch. Hopefully this will make everyone in this office love each other and love me... And once they love me, they will nominate me for a Nobel Peace Prize. Then I will be in all the news, I will get invited to some of the best parties out there (slight pause)..and hopefully I will meet Jim Carrey.

**Toby  
**I'm not so sure about this peace day…I mean it sounds good in theory, and all, but then Michael has a habit of making good stuff, really, really bad. The year he took over as manager, he ruined pretzel day for me. (Softly) I'll never be able to look at caramel topping the same way again...

**Angela  
**Do I approve the idea of a day celebrating peace? Of course I do. Even if people make offensive jokes, and flirt like hussies, I will admit that they probably still deserve a level of common human decency. But the idea of wasting company time and funds on another of Michaels's excuses for entertainment is idiotic. If he really wanted to make us feel more peaceful, he would take us off his e-mail list.

**Kelly  
**O.M.G. Peace day is going to be so cool! My friend's mom has this stuff from when she was younger and it's all this cool peace stuff. I'm totally going to borrow some to wear tomorrow. Can you just imagine what Ryan will say when he sees me in a little dress and high boots with all this jewelry? I mean, it's not going to be like dated or anything, it'll be all fashionably retro. OMG, I'm so excited for tomorrow!

**Oscar  
**In general I can see the point behind a peace day. Peace is a great idea and something I usually promote. But at the risk of sounding cynical, the people who claim universal peace is possible have never worked in this office. Or met Michael. Or Dwight. Especially Dwight.

**Dwight  
**In honor of Peace Day, I will be giving small hunting knives to some of my fellow co-workers. Some people feel weapons are incongruous with peace, but I do not. After all, you wouldn't give a weapon to your enemies, because they might wait until you turn around and kill you with it. Therefore, the giving of a weapon symbolizes trust and respect. This is why we Schrutes always carry something capable of inflicting danger at family gatherings. Some people might say that giving weapons to toddlers wasn't safe. But I carried a machete from the age of 2 onward, as did all my cousins, and we never harmed anyone. Well, except Uncle Amos when he tried to stab us in our sleep with a pitchfork. But that only happened during the full moon.

**Phyllis  
**I'm not that excited for tomorrow, party planning meetings usually end in disaster. Maybe with a peace day theme, we can get through the meeting without anyone being called a slut. That would be nice.

**Stanley  
**Between my doctor and my wife, I haven't been allowed sugars or fats in three years. So the only reason office parties interest me, is they keep Michael distracted, so I can actually work.

**Jim  
**Oh yeah, I'm still planning to prank Dwight tomorrow. I mean the irony of annoying him on National Peace Day? Can't pass that up. Plus it just seems like there should be some sort of recognition of someone who's so... anti-peace. As far as I know, only two people have ever been ever to tolerate him: Michael and Mose. Well, I would say there's a third person but I'm actually not sure what's going on with them anymore. All Pam would say is that it involved a cat and frozen french fries. And people say _our_ relationship is weird...

**Kevin  
**For peace day, I'm gonna bring bags of marshmallows. Marshmallows are white, which is a peace color and they are fluffy, which feels like peace. But mostly they are really, really tasty, and I'm never going to get another chance to eat marshmallows all day long, without Angela glaring at me.

**Meredith  
**Peace day sounds great. Michael told us we could bring anything that makes us feel peaceful. Finally, I can just bring my tequlia in, without having to dump it in a soft drink can first.

**Andy  
**What are my feelings about the Peace Day Observance tomorrow? I am _so_ psyched! A little bird is telling you that we will have hourly renditions of Kum-ba-ya to get us in the mood. And who do you think will blow them away with his acapella? That's right, the nard dog, bringing his pipes for a beloved Cornell classic. Booyah!

**Pam  
**Michael has been working really hard to find a special way to celebrate Peace Day. At first he wanted to cold call celebrities and ask them to donate money to a specific charity. But then I had to tell him that there was no charity that made sock puppets for underprivileged children…that really upset him for a while. Then he wanted to hold a "Peaceful Comedy Club Show", but there were liabilities and he didn't want to do extra paperwork. Finally we settled on a mandatory coloring contest. ... Of this picture he had me draw and photocopy. (Unfolds paper and shows camera.) And yes, that is a duck in a leisure suit, doing disco moves. (Glances at paper, then camera and sighs.) I just got tired of reasoning with him...

**Creed  
**Oh I'm jazzed for tomorrow, I love parties. One time I saw an ad in the paper from these two cats, who wanted something to do with their money. I had them meet my buddy Artie Kornfield, and they threw the best shingdig. It was a real gas, lasted for 3 days. Met some of my first followers there.

**End Notes**

**The picture Pam drew for Michael really does exist. Fanifction won't let me post the link, but it is on a website called TheColor **

***Artie Kornfield was one of the "idea men" of Woodstock. Somehow I just loved the idea that Creed was the moving force behind it.

And lastly I'm sorry to all the Cornell alumni for potentially insulting your school yet again, but it's hard to write Andy without bringing Cornell into it :)


End file.
